Two games gone, no wins, 26 players used, no physios, no training pitch until late October and no new kit – you may ask what on earth is going on at LCRFC?! Well, these early season travails are common at LCRFC, as the habitually slow starters contend with the wedding season, a few untimely injuries (none of the 9 changes from the previous week down to selection decisions), the physios being wrapped up for a few more weeks with rugby league (the previous ones having been poached by Aviva Prem sides London Irish and Saracens), the training pitch not being available because of delayed resurfacing work following the Olympics, and the kit having been ordered late as we confirmed our sponsor commitments later in the summer than normal. However, none of these factors are mitigation for the lack of tackling that hastened an already buoyant Tottonians side to a bonus point win at their Water Lane HQ on Saturday. 5 goals to 1 goal and a try bears little resemblance to the possession stats, the hosts simply defending far better individually than the exiles.

This had a feeling of ‘one of those days’ about it from start to finish, the coach company delivering an ancient minibus with no loo on board instead of the normal bus, and the M27 closed for an accident causing a 1 hour delay and a belated kick off (the felony later compounded by the fact that the M3 was closed on the way home forcing a detour via Farnham and Guildford). The game began in bright sunshine with the visitors playing away from Water Lane, and the returning Player of the Year Nick Harlock quickly made his presence felt, returning the kick off with interest but finding no one in support when tackled, him pinged for holding. It was interesting to note that right from the off the home side, despite the return of their prodigious kicker after a seasons sabbatical at Bournemouth, elected to kick all penalties for the corner but not once managed to rumble a maul over, in part because Cornish won over 80% of the lineouts on the day, Pete Calvert a formidable obstacle at the front of the line. On 7 minutes the home side didn’t need the maul, a Cornish pass from the base of a scrum knocked down and one missed tackle all it took for a home back to scoot clear, draw the cover and send the wing in under the posts for a converted try. Within 5 minutes they doubled their score when the same gap was punched in the exiles defence following an unforced error, and despite a superb covering tackle from Dave Madigan, the touchdown was made wide right, a decent conversion following in front of a decent crowd in front of the clubhouse. The Cornish forwards responded with a series of pick and go’s following a lineout take by Calvert, Hamish Cuming used as a battering ram before the exiles won a penalty on the 22. The kick was pulled badly left and Cornish quickly made a tactical change, former Cullompton back Nick Stanley given his debut at centre in place of Tom Elliott, Graeme Smeaton moving to fly half. On 25 minutes they fell further behind when the reshuffled back line simply failed to down their man, the centre crashing through to score to the left of the posts and the conversion suggesting a rout was on the cards. However, the exiles forwards were matching their hosts and began to keep the ball tighter, Mark Osei-Tutu linking with Andrew Dinwiddie on 27 minutes to drive their side deep into the home 22, where the exiles were very frustrated to find the referee in the channel of the pass as they worked an overlap, the home d able to regroup. Cornish hammered away repeatedly for 10 minutes at this point, winning repeated penalties inside the 22 but kicking them for touch rather then electing to go for the posts. It was Stanley who repeatedly drove his side over the gainline, popping the ball up to lock Phil Ridsdale to win another penalty on the floor, no cards given despite 5 successive penalties conceded inside the 22. Ridsdale was injured as he hit the deck, and was replaced by another debutant in Ben Ievers, the giant lock signed from Stourbridge. Within a minute following another penalty, centre Ian Keith rolled an ankle ending his game and forcing another rejig in the exiles back line, Elliott back on at 10 and Smeaton back out to centre. Finally, with time almost up in the half, hooker George Johnson pilfered a bouncing Totts lineout tap down and wing Stu Bell hitting a great line blind to burst into the 22 wide right, as the ball was recycled Dinwiddie crashing over a tackle to plant the ball over the line for a deserved try, the conversion attempt missing narrowly right, but the exiles with something to hang on to, 21-5 down at the break.

Cornish had to continue their domination to stay in the game at the start of the second period and did just that, Johnson winning one against the head and Madigan twice involved after Smeaton had made a half break, before Cuming smashed a hole and Madigan delayed his pass perfectly to send Stanley clean through a gap and away to score just to the left of the posts, Elliott converting to reduce the deficit to 9. Aware that the game was not yet dead, Totts came back and worked an overlap down the right wing only for a fine Robin Heymann tackle to save the day. The competitive nature of most of the game was at odds with the occasional dreadful lapse in the exiles defence, and once again a poor attempt at a tackle shepherded Totts in for another converted score on 51, this one guaranteeing the hosts a bonus point. With Calvert ,Ievers and Dinwiddie ensuring a steady stream of possession for Cornish from both sides lineouts, there was still a way back into the match, but though the exiles continued to eschew kickable penalties they were also hampered by knock ons as they forced the game. On the hour mark Cornish began another long period of territorial domination but were too predictable in their approach, and were also pinged for going off their feet. They brought on Mike Allewell for Chris Anstey at around the same time as the home side lost a back row to the bin for a team offence, but try as they might, Dave Theobald’s side were unable to piece together enough phases to make a real dent, conceding penalties or knocking on when in promising positions. Johnson took a knock with 10 left to bring Anstey back on, Allewell moving to his preferred position of hooker. With a few minutes remaining Cornish again coughed up a ball when on the attack, and Totts countered before another fine Heymann scrambling tackle won a penalty for holding. With the last play called, Totts once again found a paperthin line in front of them, ploughing the same line as 3 of their other tries to arrow away for a converted try, the 35-12 final score sending the hosts top of the fledgling league.

Like Cornish, Tottonians are enjoying their Golden Jubilee Season, and we hope they return our charitable defence when they return to the REMPF in early January! This incarnation of the Totts team is certainly bang in form and have had a great start to their season, but even they would have been surprised at how easily they were able to score some of their tries. They will know they have tougher tests to come but if you want win promotion this season, your correspondent reckons you will have to finish above Totts.
Cornish complete their mini tour of Hampshire, no away trips of more than 50 minutes left for the rest of the season. With the 2s, Choughs and Dukes all winning whilst playing at their highest ever levels, it is clear there is a depth of talent at the club, and it will take a while for the squads to settle down. The club is investigating alternative training arrangements to allow the sides to train as teams rather than in the units the current space allows at present. Now, where’s that bloody new kit? We are unbeaten in that!