London Cornish never recovered from a truly abject opening half an hour at the Fowler’s Wells HQ of Chobham in London 2 South-West on Saturday, a period in which the exiles shipped 38 points as they produced about as abject a passage of play as your correspondent has witnessed in his tenure at the club. That Cornish then produced an outstanding second half, culminating in the salvaging of a try scoring bonus point with the final play of the game in some senses compounds the earlier felony since it demonstrates that the talent is there if the commitment isn’t.

On a damp but bright day under clearing skies, Cornish arrived with another series of enforced changes following the last league game 2 weeks hence, the result of which saw not only the use of the 37th and 38th players called on by the exiles in the opening 8 league games to date, but also meant a series of Choughs players called up to the 2s to play their top of the table clash. Since this invariably means very little time to prepare as a team with only 1 training session per week, it is incumbent on players to turn up to train on that night or what was witnessed on Saturday (and what has been witnessed in the 4 league matches to date when Cornish have also conceded 35+ points) will be repeated again and again to threaten a long winter ahead. It is some scant consolation that the fixture list has thrown the exiles their opening 5 away games at the sides placed 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th and 7th and no trips of any distance remain in the season.

Chobham took the lead with a converted try with their first attack on 2 minutes, their fellow not having a finger laid on him as he cantered over under the posts. They very nearly doubled their lead on 4 minutes when one of their lumpier forwards found Cornish falling off tackles like drunks, but lock Ben Ievers produced a fine covering tackle to hold the lad up over the line under the posts. The visitors were pinged at the scrum for offside and the home side were out to a 10-0 lead. On their first attack on 8 minutes Cornish spilled the ball, which was fly hacked clear by a Chob back who would have regathered to score were it not for the retrieval of Phil Francis, but another exiled impeded a chaser and the home kicker was in unforgiving mood, launching his side out to 13-0. 15 gone and Cornish were pinged for scooping a ball back at a scrum inside their own half, 16-0. From the restart a jubilant Chobham simply enjoyed 7s style rugby as nobody from their visitors seemed to want to tackle, they try scored wide right but this conversion missed. From this restart the home sides players could actually be heard laughing as they ran through like a hot knife through butter for another converted score. I can honestly say that the last time I saw Cornish defend like this was in Cornwall when most of the side had been out drinking for most of the night, it really was that poor. 18 gone, 28-0 down and no way back. For those of you who know Chobham’s ground, you may be surprised to learn that Cornish played down the slope in the opening half. The home side had hardly had to play any quality of rugby and they were already out of sight. Finally, on 23 minutes Cornish pieced together a passage of rugby worthy of the name, fly half Conor O’Daly making an incision into the Chobham half where he was supported by Tom Oakes at his shoulder, the home side pinged for offside and Luke Spells opening his side’s account with the pen. Seemingly momentarily buoyed by this score, Cornish now won a couple of penalties, scrummie Tom Jacob taking quick taps before hitting Nick Harlock to smash deep into the 22 and then Oakes again to smash across the line for a try converted by Spells. Just when they had some momentum Cornish conceded a truly stupid penalty, kicked to the corner by the hosts who then smashed their way across the line for their bonus point try, well converted from way out. With time running out on the half, Chob won another penalty they gleefully smacked over to leave them 38-10 ahead at the break, the exiles now having a man in the bin just prior to the whistle.

You have a choice when you see your side produce a defensive performance such as that in the opening period – do you launch into them, trying to fire them up and give them a few home truths, or do you appeal to their sense of shame in a calm manner, the aim being to ensure the players are embarrassed into a response. Down a man for the opening 10 and now playing up the hill with a huge deficit against them, whatever was said worked for there was only one further lapse in the defence as the game was turned on its head. Constant Cornish pressure from the off saw Skip Dave Theobald, replacement prop Oli Low, O’Daly and Mark Osei-Tutu smash away at the home defensive line until hooker George Johnson burst through only to be held up over the line. Chobham were penalized at the scrum, and from a quick tap on 46 minutes it was Low who powered his way over for the try, converted by Spells, the score now 38-17. To intense frustration for the visiting coaching team and supporters, this 7 was handed straight back at the restart, simple line hit by a home centre to canter through with no tackle offered for another converted score. It would be no exaggeration to say that for the remaining 32 minutes of the match, Chobham barely made it out of their half as they were given a severe examination of their defence. Conceding penalties at an alarming rate (your correspondent counted 26 conceded by the home side in their half alone in the second half), Chobham were repeatedly marched back until, shortly after the exiles were back up to full numbers, the home 13 was binned. Cornish battered away from a maul for fully five minutes, the home side conceding penalty after penalty and the exiles opting not to take the points. O’Daly, Spells, Pete Calvert and debutant Max Cantrell all smashed into the determined Chob rearguard until finally a rolling maul on 58 saw Oakes plant the ball onto the tryline for the try, Spells conversion attempt from way out smashing into the right hand upright but down the wrong side, 45-22 now the score. In a rare foray into exiles territory on 60 minutes Cantrell pinched the ball on the floor and as Spells hit a great line the home blind side came of second best as he attempted to tacke the powerful centre, the lad knocked out and replaced. With any clearance kicks returned with interest by Harlock and wing Robin Heymann, Chobham quickly found themselves back on the defensive, perhaps tiring under something of an onslaught as Cornish launched a ferocious and sustained assault in an effort to close the gap. Having been restored to full numbers, the referees patience snapped again on 65 minutes when the home tight head simply pulled down a rolling maul as it powered toward his line wide left, him taking another 10 minute break. As Cornish attempted to relaunch their offensive they were pinged for crossing, though this proved only a temporary respite, replacement back Stefan Duda now adding his pace to the fray. With darkness closing in, Cornish were twice held up over the line as Chobham threw everything into protecting their lead and trying to prevent the visitors from landing the bonus point try, first Oakes and then Low claiming tries but the referee being unsighted. With the Cornish scrum now pinching ball against the head, twice the visitors went close to driving over from 5 out for the hosts to be penalized, the frustration growing for Cornish with time fast running out. With the referee indicating last play, O’Daly threw a long cut out pass from right to left inside the 22 to Heymann, him stepping inside and linking with Calvert who twisted out of one tackle and planted the ball over the tryline wide left just as a last gasp attempt tried to stop him, the bonus point secure though Jacob’s conversion attempt also slamming into the near upright and again falling the wrong side. From a seemingly hopeless position, Cornish had at least salvaged something from the game.

Chobham are definitely an improved outfit compared with last season, and they will be delighted to have beaten Cornish for the first time. They finished well in the opening half and defended stoutly in the second when they repeatedly put their bodies on the line against their lumpy visitors. They are always a decent crowd post match and didn’t disappoint on this occasion, though it is a little disconcerting to come out of the changing room post match to be met by Barney Rubble and someone seemingly dressed as something out of Star Wars!

Most of what has needed to be said for Cornish has now been spoken or written. This is the clubs Golden Jubilee season and there is still plenty of hard work to be undertaken on and off the pitch to ensure it is a success. That hard work begins at training this week.