A comprehensive defeat at the hands of in-form Guildford was no disgrace for London Cornish at the REMPF on Saturday. Decimated by injuries and unavailability in key positions, the exiles side gave everything in pouring rain but it was simply not good enough to stem the tide, going down by 4 goals and a penalty to 2 penalties. While Guildford remain firmly in the promotion hunt, Cornish remain in 8th place in London 2 South-West.

When your 5th choice tight head suffers whiplash in a car accident and your 6th choice goes down with flu on the eve of the match, you kind of think you have hit the bottom. However, a last ditch “I fell down the stairs at an awards ceremony and am out for 2 months” call topped the lot late on Friday evening. I would love to join forces with my fellow coaches at other clubs in London 2 South-West to compile a list of the best of these excuses – its not that we don’t believe them, its just that the truth is so often stranger than fiction! Henry Blofeld calls it ‘general shufflehouses’ on Test Match Special, and it certainly felt like some weird form of musical chairs trying to field full sides at the weekend. It is no wonder your correspondent was fast asleep at home by 1930 on Saturday night and little wonder too that all 3 sides lost as the absentees really bite.

Playing away from the scoreboard in the opening half on a pitch in remarkable condition given the incessant rain we have been suffering of late, Cornish actually struck the front on 5 minutes after a Rich McKeown driving run saw G’s in at the side and Luke Spells continue his hot kicking streak. Though gaining territory on regular occasions in the opening 10 minutes, understandable errors at the lineout hampered the visitors until on the 10th minute they nailed one and drove over only to be held up through sheer brute strength by lock Tim Oakes. In a tough season, Oakes has been one consistent bright spark in the exiles pack and seems to thrive on the close quarter combat. 2 minutes later he was helpless however, when the referee awarded a penalty try against the exiles after the visiting 8 lost control of the ball at the back of the scrum and the Cornish back row pounced on it. There is massive inconsistency amongst referees at this level in the manner in which penalty tries are and aren’t awarded. Dominant scrums should be rewarded, and far too often referees allow all forms of infringements to occur to prevent sides scoring in this fashion. I don’t begrudge the award on this occasion, I just hope we have the same ref with the same attitude when our pack is back up to full strength because I can honestly say that the amount of Cornish penalty tries that should have been awarded would be over 10 instead of the 1 we have had to date given similar circumstances. No matter, the kicker banged over the extras and Cornish would not sniff the lead again. In an increasingly fractious match the Gs 13 was binned for a petulant kick aimed at a player on the floor on 15, and this seemed to spark the home side into action, Ben Ievers claiming a lineout on halfway enabling his side to march way upfield before a kick in behind went out on the full. A few minutes later and the playing numbers were leveled as an exile was binned for a no arms tackle – this was especially harsh as the lad had wrapped his left arm around the player on the blind side of the player from the referee and it was actually a great tackle. Since it was bang in front, the Gs kicker added to the agony stretching the lead out to 10-3. With Ievers a constant threat at the lineouts, Cornish did have some platform to develop their game, but increasingly the under strength home pack was suffering in the tight, forcing no 8 Andy McEwen to perform heroics to get his side over the gainline and protect his scrum half – he will have plenty of easier days than this! In addition, though under extreme pressure in the tight, Cornish have one of their gems back in hooker Will Carew-Gibbs and twice in the match he pinched clean heals against the head to deny the visitors ball. With slippery conditions seeing both sides knock the ball on, Gs added a further converted try on 33 minutes when a knock on inside their own 22 saw Cornish present a gift to a Gs back to scoot over to the right of the posts. With a few minutes remaining in the half, a carbon copy of how they scored their earlier points saw McKeown again drive his side from inside his own half to the Gs 22, a player in at the side penalised for Spells to ensure his side went in 11 points down at the break.

Ievers had suffered a knock to the head prior to the break, and he had to be replaced by Phil Jones, Andrew Dinwiddie moving into the row. This now meant the exiles had their 6th choice th and lock on the pitch against one of the strongest packs in the division, and with no recognized lineout jumper this was going to be a very tough half. Gs hammered away from the off, and it was Oakes again who forced a turnover on his own 22 with a huge hit in midfield dislodging the ball. Just when it seemed the exiles had weathered the storm after a delayed lineout throw 5 out had seen the visitors pinged, a poor clearance and kick chase gave the visiting backline the chance to show that they too have talent, countering to cross half way in to the right of the posts for another converted try. At 24-6 down it was already looking like a case of damage limitation for Cornish, who withdrew player/coach Tom Sincock for Sam Williams at this point. With Simon Brading forced into an emergency inside centre role (he had last played there regularly in his England U21 days outside a certain J Wilkinson), the visitors did not have much joy through the centres, Brading and Spells locking things up well, bringing full back Dave Soar into play where necessary. The pair forced the ball to be spilt on 55 and fly hacked it up the right flank only for the ball to be lost in ensuing ruck. The home side now withdrew the ailing Matt Pollard, him suffering from bad flu and having answered the 11th hour call to step up to tighthead having played for all 4 of the clubs sides this season, Chris Anstey on at hooker and Carew-Gibbs moving to prop. He though was powerless to prevent the bonus point score when it came, the Gs lumpy centre cutting an oblique angle close to the pack to saunter through and under the posts for the vital score. For the remaining 10 minutes Cornish hammered away as Gs conceded penalty after penalty. Oakes, Mike Bond, Max Cantrell, McEwen and Dinwiddie were all involved until Carew-Gibbs went desperately close with a trademark twist and turn, him felled by a fellow who simply flopped over the ball to be binned by the referee. Try as they might in the remaining minutes with a man advantage, Cornish simply didn’t have the ammo to cross the line. A remarkable foot note to the game is that Cornish right wing Phil Francis did not touch the ball once during the 80 minutes, just as well as he is recovering from a knock!

Guildford will be in the mix come promotion time once more, a feisty and physical side who revel in these conditions. They are always an honest crew post match and were good value back at the pub, so good luck to them.

This was a step forward in commitment for Cornish and it represented the last of the matches where injuries compound unavailability. As we build toward next season, a few new arrivals will be announced this week to complement the return of the vast majority of absentees.